This is what happens when you avoid rebuilding your WordPress website – you play with Photoshop.
Behold the face of Cobra Commander! At least, according to the toys. Using the head from Star Brigade Cobra Commander with the face from 1991 Cobra Commander, you can actually get an unobstructed view of his head. I also added in some random G.I. Joe heads just to fill in the gaps.
The head is a little stubby on the body, but you know what? It’s a lot better than nothing!
Those curious can see Hasbro’s official take on what Destro and Firefly really look like.
no, fucking seriously, this is AMERICA. A dumpy pro-wrestler who pretends to be a Marine on a cartoon show meant to sell toys to children pretends to play an electric guitar shaped like the logo of a terrible beer in the desert on the back of a pickup truck while bikini girls dance.
90s G.I. Joe / Ninja Force toy box art for the “Ninja Raider Pile Driver”
yes, when I think of stealthy assassins who hide in the shadows, this is the kind of thing I imagine.
This is obviously for when they fuck up and get out of the shadows, duh.
You see T’Gin-Zu up there? He’s a white dude from Somers, NY. I’ve been to Somers, it’s a half hour drive from my house. It is not a town that would produce a guy described like this: ”T’GIN-ZU was the best martial arts student STORM SHADOW ever taught. He studied the martial arts for over 20 years until he earned the right to be called a ninja master. He learned some of the guarded secrets of the Arashikage ninja clan, especially those dealing with covert operations and various techniques in self-discipline and endurance training. During his first week as part of Ninja Force, T’Gin-Zu volunteered to be a Ninja Raider driver. Since then, he has clobbered Cobras across the globe in his pursuit to capture the entire band of Cobra’s Red Ninjas…ALONE!!!”
This is the kind of thing I think of when I see Joe fans trying to be serious and hard-core.
Yeah, I think like, 90% of the Ninja Force Joes were named after Hasbro staffers at the time.
That’s how you get Lloyd S. Goldfine, the Snow Ninja from Queens.
He carries his grandfather’s ceremonial samurai sword into battle.
How a dude from Queens came into possession of a samurai sword is best left unasked.